Retrospect

Sometimes,
Lost in my consciousness
wading through dreams
and stuck in the weeds of anguish
I find myself,
Looking at my reflection
Through a pool of revenge.

Times,the times
have forced my inner self
for a retrospection
of my life,
and why i live my life.

To please the mob?
where's GOD?
The omnipresent,the omnipotent,
Who claims to help.
Where is the supreme being
when i need his presence?
Why do i find myself
Where i was?
Time has outrun me,
in te race to find
Myself,
My presence,
My halo
In the world,
Which needs
Desperately,
A ray of hope for those
Who want to live...
And be proud that they did so.

Thoughts

During my innocent daydreams
Just like a bolt of lightning
Out of the clear blue sky,
Just like a tidal wave
From the calm blue sea,
Just like tears
From the newborn baby,
A thought brings me back to reality.

I shudder to think ,coz
The more I do,
The more disturbed I get.
Melancholy grips me like a vice
And threatens to wipe out
Happiness,
For ever,
From my life.

The thoughts run wild.
And I, no not I,
One half of I
Runs after them,
And the other half,
Chasing them away.

I tell myself,
I shouldn’t let these wander
Into me again,
While subconsciously
I’m playing with the thoughts,
Just like
The mother plays with her newborn.

My thoughts play with my senses,
Giving me an illusion
Of happiness in this wretched world.

I don’t need them.
They’re no more than hallucinations.

I’m doing well,
I’ve adapted myself,
Grown up,
As everyone tells me to.
And I’ve learnt to look
At the harsh realities of life.
Why, must my thoughts then,
Impregnate the iron wall
That is my mind,
And show me, what could have been?

And what is not?

It’s not my business to dream about roses,
When all around me
Thorns fight over
Which one pricks me first.
It’s my duty to pay attention,
To the harshness of life
And forget that there can be happiness.